Stories of Hope: Lucy Cole
“I continued to have hope as I have two beautiful girls, and I know I needed to care for them, help them through this very traumatic time in their life and ensure they understood their feelings and could look after their mental health.”
In this week’s ‘Stories of Hope’, we talk to Lucy Cole, who is a single mother of two and fully qualified Master NLP & Hypnosis Practitioner, Time Line Therapist, Personal Evolutionary & Health Coach and has recently launched Love Life Coaching & Events Ltd & Love Life Again, which specialises in Grief Recovery. She has also published a children’s book called Faythe & the Fearstone which combines a fully animated cartoon series, which includes NLP and CBT influences and mindfulness. As part of this, Lucy has also developed wellbeing workshops to deliver in schools for children aged 7-11 key stage 2 pupils. Lucy has recently opened her own Grief Recovery Coaching Clinic in Sutton Coldfield and has added the details to the Hub of Hope to ensure people in Birmingham and the surrounding areas can get the help they need.
Tell us about your grief recovery coaching clinic and how this came about?
Since 2015 I have experienced some very life changing traumas in a very short time frame. I had to care for two sick parents who I unfortunately lost just weeks apart, my marriage also broke down during the same period, which resulted in divorce and court cases, and I lost my business I ran with my husband, due to us separating and suffered financial difficulty, which led me to have bouts of anxiety and depression, as well as weight loss.
At first I lost control, I couldn’t get out of bed, I drank more and partied hard when the children were with their father as this was the only way I found that I could ease the pain and heartache. I was spiralling out of control, but it was the only way I knew how to deal with all the loss and upheaval. However, this wasn’t helping my mindset & health, so I eventually turned to yoga, meditation, walking and getting into coaching. I turned my life around by making big life changes. I started to learn about health and nutrition and then began a health/life coach course which led me to my Master NLP & Hypnosis practitioner and grief recovery courses.
I was determined not to go on antidepressants, as I was really worried that I would get addicted and never come off them and I didn’t feel they would work for me. I’ve somehow managed to come through these difficult times and very dark days by maintaining a positive attitude and mindset, and to this day I still focus on eating healthy and exercising – yoga and meditation are my saving graces. After everything that I experienced I wanted to help others who found themselves in similar situations to myself. Grief in any form can be very scary and a lonely place to be.
Part of my recovery was focusing my passion to help others, and this was the driving force behind me becoming a fully qualified coach and specialising in grief recovery as I can share my experiences, knowledge and hopefully inspire people to come through these difficult and traumatic times. Opening my clinic in Sutton Coldfield is just the start of this and I can offer grief recovery to adults and children. My long-term plan is not only to offer one-to-one coaching but also to hold seminars and workshops across the country using my event knowledge & experience.
Tell us about your book Faythe & The Fearstone?
Faythe & the Fearstone is targeted at children aged 7-11 years of age as this is our children’s most formative years where they start to feel real emotions and make decisions that will stay with them through their teenage years and adulthood. I have two daughters and I realised that there were no inspirational role models for my daughters, and they had to take a leap from animated princesses to wise-cracking live action teens. Young children (girls/ boys) from an early age as young as six can struggle with daily issues and pressures from school, home and forming friendships.
Faythe and her team are inspiring characters, who are far from perfect but help and support one another to deal with daily issues/problems. With the help of Faythe, the Fearstone and friends, children will go on adventures in Doom Land Island and learn how to overcome issues, conquer their fears and be brave. Through self-learning and being provided with the correct tools and techniques they can change their behaviour pattern, feelings & emotions.
Nobody’s life is perfect and it’s how we deal with these imperfections in life that counts. It’s very important that this is installed in children’s minds from an early age. My goal is to help children to recognise mental health at an early age and install positive thoughts and techniques to conquer their fears, build confidence and reach their full potential.
What did you find most useful on your personal mental health journey/in your recovery?
Initially, my yoga really helped as it reduced my anxiety and calmed my mind. When I completed my grief recovery course, it answered many questions as to why I’d behaved and reacted in certain ways.
Also, I continued to have hope as I have two beautiful girls, and I know I needed to care for them, help them through the situation and ensure they understood their feelings and look after their mental health.
Once I started my training that inspired me to keep going as I knew that I could share my knowledge and experience to help others in similar situations. It has been a big learning curve with lots of change, but I am so proud of everything I have achieved. To having a children’s book coming out, as well as opening my grief clinic and I’m also starting the process of writing my own Grief Recovery book, which means I am really going to be able to help other people. It really has been an amazing journey and I am now so grateful for my health and realise how wonderful and precious life is.
How easy do you think it is to access relevant mental health support?
It’s not easy at all, and from my own experience there is no support, waiting lists are too long and people need help before it’s too late. There isn’t enough funding in the sector and mental health doesn’t seem to be a priority, yet it is just as important as our physical health.
This is one of the reasons I wanted to do my training as grief will change a person’s life and outlook, and I really wanted to help make a difference.
Working with Chasing the Stigma and being included on the Hub of Hope hopefully means we can help people get access to services they need, and I can help more people overcome and deal with grief.
What advice would you give to someone struggling with their mental health?
Take time out for yourself, relax your mind, meditate, start yoga, do breathing exercises, get out in nature so go for walks or a cycle. Calming the mind reduces anxiety, which also helps with depression and mental health issues. Also, don’t be hard on yourself, take each day as it comes.
If you are really struggling, find support. I think professionals with lived experience, like in my case, can really help others as they have been through the struggles and come out the other side which gives others hope.
I would also recommend downloading the Hub of Hope. I wish I had known about this app when I was struggling, and I am really pleased that my grief clinic is now listed as one of the services so more people within the local area can find help and support.
If you, today, could speak to yourself at your lowest point, what would you tell yourself?
Life gets better, the pain of grief eases, you are allowed to feel happiness again, be grateful for your health, life is for living, you are brave, you are strong, you can come through this. This is what I told myself at my lowest points and it helped me come through my darkest days.
To get in touch with Lucy, visit https://www.lovelifecoaching-events.co.uk/ or email: email@example.com. For further information on the book visit Faythe & the Fearstone, or email firstname.lastname@example.org for further details.
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